Testosterone is a hormone secreted from the testicles of males, and to a lesser extent, a female’s ovaries.
It is responsible for a man’s muscle and bone mass, regulates his physical and mental energy, his libido, sense of well being, and so on.
In other words, high testosterone good, low testosterone bad. There are many health dangers that stem from low testosterone as well, that are beyond the scope of this article, but suffice it to say, any man who wants to live life to the hilt should aspire to a lifestyle that naturally raises his test.
For those who are raising it chemically, through the use of anabolics or testosterone replacement therapy, the following can be looked at as simple rules for a savage existence.
For the rest, what follows is a set of hard and fast rules for raising the testosterone and enaging life with a mindset that embraces strength and health. Nietzsche knew a thing or two about this when he suggested that the proper mode of living included:
“a powerful physicality, a blossoming, rich, even effervescent good health that includes the things needed to maintain it, war, adventure, hunting, dancing, jousting and everything else that contains strong, free, happy action.”
Essentially, his list contains what doctors and experts on the subject would agree are the fastest ways to a higher testosterone.
The first big killer of test is being overweight. An overweight male can expect up to a 50% decrease in his testosterone, depending on genetics and severity of his obesity. There is no sugar coating this one. If you are fat, your immediate course of action is to stop reading this, get off your disgusting fat ass and hit the weights or the track. Preferably both. There is no magic pill- only diet and exercise. The good part is that I have personally witnessed some pretty miraculous transformations occur over the span of as little as 6 months to one year of life reform. This is not something that is out of your reach, it is simply currently beyond your will, which you have allowed to become as atrophied and flabby as your body.
I’m going to do you a favor and tell you everything you need to know about losing weight and getting fit right now:
1) Go to bed earlier, and get up earlier. Use the extra hour to go on a fasted walk first thing in the morning, before you do anything else.
⦁ STOP EATING BULLSHIT. This is pretty obviously going to be a major factor. Immediately cease eating food with tons of processed sugars. Stop drinking soda, you suicidal bastard! Eat 3-4 small to moderately sized meals throughout the day consisting of a healthy balance of carbs, protein and fat. If you are grossly overweight, cutting your carbs to a minimum, and only eating them before and directly after your workout is the ticket to reducing bodyfat.
3) Train with Barbells. Pick up any basic lifting program that favors barbells, or shoot a message to⦁ firstname.lastname@example.org and talk to me about a training program. Prices are extremely reasonable. Don’t waste my time, and don’t waste your life. Get started today, or be this way forever. Your choice.
That’s it. I just gave you basically everything you need to stop being a land-whale. Now it’s your call to get with the program. Even you guys out there who don’t think you’re fat, but have some love handles or excess belly fat- it’s killing your test levels, too. Try fasted walking while listening to a podcast (I recommend Jack Donovan’s “Start the World,” Justin Garcia’s “The Pressure Project,” or something like “Hardcore History,” to maximize time and learn something while you shed fat and turn yourself into a machine built for war) and timing your carbs as stated above. They are easy ways to really get after that last little bit of stubborn adipose tissue.
The second enemy of cock-hardening, muscle building levels of test: not enough sleep.
Sleeping less than 5-6 hours a night lowers your testosterone to that of a man 10-15 years your senior.
A few pointers on getting better sleep-
Turn off your goddamn smart-phone. The light produced by computer screen and that little witch-brick you are staring at kills your ability to fall asleep. Make a rule that you will stop looking at that thing an hour before bedtime. Not only the light is problematic, but the fact that you are forcing thousands of megabytes of useless data into your brain, checking messages, notifications, raising your blood pressure by checking that time-wasting thread where you decided to argue politics or religion or natty lifters or whatever. Knock it off, power down your magical tattle-stone and read a fucking book. Remember those?
Take a cold shower. It cools your body down and gets it ready for sleep.
Sleep in a cold room. Good for test production, and also promotes better sleep.
Sleep in the dark. If you don’t want to look like a serial killer (although why wouldn’t you? Maybe you can finally get an 8:30 res at Dorsia, you fucking stupid bastard) and wear one of those lone ranger blindfolds, invest in some heavy blinds or curtains, shut off any little lights and LEDs- combined with the colder temps, your room should now resemble a Neanderthal’s sleeping quarters. To complete the vibe, I recommend some decaying hides and maybe a scalp or two.
Remember- better sleep, better test.
Third, it seems that because of the internet and shit like video games, Netflix, and so on, men are spending way more time at home, ensconced in their gaming thrones, talking on little headsets to people they will probably never meet, raising the “stats” of their little electronic man, while ignoring the fact that one of their important stats is plummeting!
Too much time out of the social loop is problematic for a few reasons- one, it promotes sedentary activities. Two, it reduces interaction and competition with other males. Third, it reduces your contact with women, who, if they are ovulating, can raise your T-juice SIMPLY BY SMELLING THEM. If that isn’t some primitive witchcraft, I don’t know what is.
Probably, you shouldn’t roll up on random women and smell them, although I have used this technique in the past to pretty good success- but simply interacting and talking with females that are potential sexual mates raises your test. So, put down the controller and go out and compete with males and smell some attractive females- you might even try talking to them. I think this is considered pre-requisite for most potential breeding/mating situations. I tend to use grunts and gestures.
On this topic, I’d like to say that Tindr and whatever other “swipe right” app you may be using to get your jollies in, is probably decreasing the amount of time you spend out there on the hunt. It’s an important part of the process to approach strange women and talk to them, with all the possibility of victory or failure, that engages our hunter/gatherer mindset and raises our hormones. A Tindr hook up is some space age, Matrix-style, science fiction, de-humanizing bullshit- and no matter who says otherwise, they know it to be true.
Lastly, the high test male spends a great deal of his day in physical endeavors, and engages in outdoor activities as much as possible. Hiking is exercise, exercise is good for the test, outdoors means (usually) sunshine, which means vitamin D, which means more testosterone. This is why everyone gets all ready-for-action in the summer time. An increase in sun equates to a higher hormone production, which leads to more sex, which leads to more test. A closed circuit system of elevated T.
He should also practice martial arts, as this is the most direct and obvious way of physically competing with other men. I recommend Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai/MMA, although rugby and other high contact, masculine sports of yore seem to produce knuckle-dragging archetypes of brute strength as well.
There are plenty of other ways to optimize levels through diet and so on, and we will cover some of this in future articles. Those of you who are reading this and not lifting (I doubt it. If not, shame on you. Stop being a pathetic worm.) should obviously be doing so in order to stop disgusting your ancestors and alienating potential friendships with people who matter.
Compete physically with men.
Smell women. (Or talk to them, or whatever.)